what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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