Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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