And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
