i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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