yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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