I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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