Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
