So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
