I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
