at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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