I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
