you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
