His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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