if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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