some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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