Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
