I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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