there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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