Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
