I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
