I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
