I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize