I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
