dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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