THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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