They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
