and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
