I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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