Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
