you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
