everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
