That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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