Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
