I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize