I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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