3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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