dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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