I cockslap morals
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you never un-have a 4some
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All I want is dick and wine.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
