i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize