Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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