i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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