You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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