so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
