Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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