how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
