i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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