There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He shit in the fireplace
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize