At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
