I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
