did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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