Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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