Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.