I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it's like iHOP with fire
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me