Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
