i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
porn star boner night. come get it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
