I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
