Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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