brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
