just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
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Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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