Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
