do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
