Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
