Do you still have your period?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
