I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
